Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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