My nipple is on Facebook.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
