Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize