Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
