Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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