fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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