I think I am morally bankrupt
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
wow bdsm is so cute
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