dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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