We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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