He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Mom said you looked used
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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