This house was built for laser tag.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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