Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Shame - the story of my life.
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