What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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