It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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