i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize