so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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