I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He had one of those small greek statue penises
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
