exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
