that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
