i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
