dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
