I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
