i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
