This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
