I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
