found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
