i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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