We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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