So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize