Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize