You work out of a Hotel?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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