I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize