Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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