You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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