I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
