I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
