he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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