hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
