i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
