Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize