Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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