just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
