Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
