I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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