I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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