We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
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