i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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