you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
