lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize