I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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