Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
