you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
