u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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