can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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