i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
