Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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