need another drink. this is the easiest way
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
