woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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