No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
