i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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