If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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