and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
