it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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