I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
