my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
