Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
her facebook's as public as her vagina
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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