The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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