I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
dude. I can hear the air.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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