he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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