You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
