Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
