playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
