How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
