Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
