I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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