I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
