Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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