doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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