need another drink. this is the easiest way
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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