i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you had me at cake vodka
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
